To Team Siargao,

I started writing up an entry, pretty much chronicling our trip, from day 1 (the trip that didn't happen) to day 7, the end of the best trip I can quite easily say I've ever had. I could've included every little inside joke and hilarious anecdote, every misstep and drunken episode - in my case, rageisode, but that would would make for a mammoth of an entry. You'd need to bring snacks (preferably peanuts!), a comfy pillow or two, and some background music just to comfortably get through it all. I would wear my keyboard thin with each joke and random encounter I would feel obligated to include in the aforementioned post, and maybe one day I'll get around to it. For now though, I just wanted to get this out, before Team Siargao just becomes another vacation memory, a hazy film we wind up in our heads, and watch it revolve, detached from the original feelings and emotions we felt at the time.

Not to be morbid, or particularly dark, but it's hard to fathom life, how impermanent it is, how finite, and how unpredictable it is. Chance, random encounters are the fuel that motivate us to live, to pursue, to persevere through the quotidian, the repetitive, the mundane. If I were being honest, I'd say I was a pretty boring person. Simple pleasures and chip thrills were my raison d'etre - downloading music, bumming at home - it was easy to make me happy. Going on a week long road trip on a whim wasn't exactly my style - I even remember Gab asking me if I still wanted to go on the road trip up the northern coast of the Philippines. I guess the uncertainty, the pussyfooting (haha pussyfooting), the 'throwing caution to the wind' side of myself shone glaringly through all the false enthusiasm I could muster. I packed my bag the night we were going to depart poorly, leaving the bag open at the foot of my bed with my mind racing. 

A week in a car with people I had never travelled with? What if we didn't get a long, or we hated each other after the first hour on the road? I didn't want to be the person who ruined the trip for everyone. As soon as I stepped in Shav's car, with all our bag tossed in the trunk in a row - the excitement overwhelmed me! Everything looked fresh, and new, and I knew that this trip would personally be life changing. The wind whipping around my arm when I stuck it out the car window felt important, each unexpected mountain and ray of sunshine was more important than anything that had happened in my life. It's easy and amazingly difficult to change one's life. Which seems like a bold, vague and ambiguous statement, but what if we all didn't go? Would I feel the same about you 3 as I do now? There are so many positive things that came out of this trip - it was living! And the living was easy, with you three. 

I had been in the Philippines for 4 months before our road trip, feeling sorry for myself, confused, not wanting to do much. This probably led to my hesitation about joining in with the road trip. It's weird for me, someone who tries to live life without any 'maybes or what ifs', but for the longest time, there was no desire to experience ANYTHING! It's like living in a husk of your former self. A lack of motivation to enjoy life truly is a terrible way to live. I stopped looking forward to the future, gazed purposelessly at my toes in the present and for all intents and purposes, closed myself in a introverted cocoon, with all of my senses dulled to the world outside. Typing feelings about myself, being truthful is rare for me, seeing as I like to keep everything bottled inside, so I hope I'm making sense.

My only point, if I can pretend to have one while just getting all this off my chest, is that this was one of the best trips I have ever been on. Not because the trip, the drive itself was beautiful - because even though the north is breathtaking, we all know I couldn't see much after the third or fourth day. Not because we all learned how to surf (which was so awesome!), because we're all no Kelly Slater's (except Gab)...you know what? Even just recounting everything, every single freaking memory I love to death! If my mind were a record player and each memory was a record, the needle would have worn down the record to dust - every single of the dusty memories all are so special to me because of all of you - the company, the people. I wanted to say all this before it was too late, before we were too far removed from the experience (and hopefully not from each other too).

Each time I look at a picture of any of us, or any picture from Jess's camera for that matter, I can't help but smile. The awesome tans and constantly played memories may lose their vibrance in time, but my love for you guys will not. Ugh Ugh Team Siargao!

Much love, peace and afro grease,

Eddie (Raging Rivs)

PS - We all HAVE to hit up Siargao now, its pretty much a given. How could we not?